Ben Craig Music

Theatrical Rock Artist BEN CRAIG
www.bencraigmusic.com
www.facebook.com/bencraigmusic
Hitting the music scene with captivating show !
#pureentertainment #theatricalrock

London

On Reflection... After the performance

Having 24 hours to reflect on the performance and over all experience I have gained some clarity over this experience.
After feeling so disheartened, it became clear to me that with all my intense emotions being built up, the only way to win in a situation like this was to put in every single piece of emotion into my performance... So I did!
Looking back at my rehearsals, I was very frustrated and felt unmotivated during this time, on reflection perhaps this was to do with me not mentally being able to channel my emotions into this play for the subject was far too hard hitting for me to reach. Having not being shown as a class a 'way in' made me feel unconnected to my fellow classmates, which frustrated me. However I have come to realise that although everyone wasn't fully aware of the subject, we still performed our best yet, and I felt very proud. I also felt justification and it made me proud to show a glimpse of what really happened during the Holocaust and to the Jewish people. It made me understand that this play did illustrate this horrific time in an important way, for to give a spectator any experience of what happened, what best way could be done than to throw an audience in from the beginning. The way the audience was led in by James and Cassie who played the Nazi soldiers was powerful, ordering the audience to sit in an abrupt way made them feel instantly uncomfortable. The theatre was also cold which made things worse. I asked my Mother how she felt after viewing the performance, and she said, “Why are you doing this?” with the response of my boyfriend Ben saying, “It’s important”
Those two reactions said so much; my Mother felt like it was too painful to watch to the point of getting frustrated as to questioning, why put this play on? With the response of my boyfriend reminding her that people need to remember what happened not so long ago, this sad humiliation on humanity.
Through all this I gained so much appreciation to the Jewish people, being Jewish myself, this truly struck a chord inside of my soul and I became suddenly enlightened the next day. It’s also made me understand that through any role I play, I need to be %100 committed. This isn’t easy. I have come to realise how important acting is, reliving history is imperative, and to give to an audience will only fulfil to a greater level. However to reach this point of understanding takes time and the only way to get to this level, is to go through it. From my experience of this performance, I totally went through, and now have come out the other end, I feel revitalised, and I feel proud and honest, and true to what I performed. I embraced every second of it. I’m sure this will be one of the most difficult subjects for me to reach, but having reached this, I feel strong. I’m not sure how many times I could perform a show like this, and that makes me appreciate actors even more. There are so many hard hitting subjects to reach, and for those that do reach and perform them to people, be it on screen or on the theatre, what we must remember is that, if we as an audience feel, then the actor will feel if so a greater deal more. To re-live that feeling again and again is astounding and extremely difficult. I would love to deep down try and challenge myself again and again, though only time will tell as to whether this opportunity will rise once more during my life… Let’s hope.

Below are a few images of the live performance, performed at the Arts Depot.

On Reflection... Prior the performance

On Reflection of the professional drama practice I feel disheartened about the whole process. I feel that a lot of time has been wasted on warm ups, such as plastics and yoga positions, which in reality have no meaning towards this play. I understand that Michael has chosen to move in the direction of Grotowski’s style play, however as a class I do feel this is a little far fetched. I believe that in order to reach a point of Grotowski’s work, one must experience and encounter an understanding of deeper emotion towards any subject that is being worked on. This is a terrible flaw that has only now, after two weeks of preparation and rehearsals, has been acknowledged by myself. I feel like this project has not been thought about enough in relation to an actor and an audience. I find myself questioning Michael, for he wrote this play, that he describes as Jews fighting for Hitler, Jews against Jews, which to me is a massive statement that wasn’t even discussed emotionally. There has not been a single conversation/discussion about justification on the subject, and as a class we have not connected together on this intense, hard-hitting historical event. I ask myself, why did Michael write this? Did he write it to teach his actors and his audience something? For if that was his purpose, I believe there has been a lack of realisation and individual personal connection to the play by the class, which is not the classes fault, it’s the directors and creators of the play’s mistake, as there has not been one single discussion about characters, emotional depth or any true understanding of the subject. There are so many ‘ways in’ to connect to this subject, even if you are not Jewish, there will always be a way to reach this hard-hitting emotion, of what the Jews went through. This is not just about Jews, it’s a bout how the human race and everyone can relate to it, in one way or another if they are shown, which unfortunately was forgotten about. Which leads me to reflect on the audience and their experience of the play, will the spectator really have a ‘real’ sense and understanding of what went on in these Camps if the actor doesn’t understand and connect fully? I believe that in order to write a play, the message must be clear to everyone not just the writer; and I feel that Michael might of written this for himself without realising as it has been proven that he has forgotten about the main purpose of art and theatre. His research may be accurate and true, but the teaching hasn’t been true to the subject for an actor on an emotion level. I also feel that Jon as a director also has forgotten about reinforcing the emotional aspect for the actor, for he has not once commented on how we should speak our lines and project our emotions, and asking us, why are feeling these emotions? Perhaps this is because he may not connect to the play and lacks passion for the subject. Which in reflection is a great shame and loss as it’s uninspiring to a bunch of young adults who may know very little about the Holocaust, or perhaps have taken little time to truly feel an emotion for what really happened back then. When I hear people speak their lines, I feel like they are empty or forced, this is not the actors fault, for they are only young students who merely know as much as a teacher, which I believe gets forgotten about. Being Jewish myself and also being older than my class mates I can relate to this subject, and today I find myself after two weeks of these rehearsals waking up crying about what really happened in Auschwitz and in other camps, I think about my Grandma and her family that died during this horrendous time, and for me to start crying and feeling something, I can’t ever imagine what it really felt like to be in those camps, and as Sabrina say’s in her speech ‘licking urine off the walls in order to stay alive’, (which unfortunately isn’t been projected perfectly due to lack of emotional reinforcement that should be provided by the directors) this line is so hard-hitting, that when I truly think about it makes it hard for me to breathe, I feel so ashamed and disrespectful that I have only now reached this point, and that I didn’t bring this up earlier and tell Michael how important it is for the actors to really relate to this like I do, in their individual way. Part of me feels like I don’t even want to perform this show, but as a professional of course I will. I do feel proud that I have reached this point, but feel sad that this show is now looking to be quite surfaced and a little bit throw away, as we didn’t get a chance to fully connect as a class and a bunch of professional actors performing a piece of theatre about the Holocaust.
Through this I have learnt that if I was to direct a play, the first and most important thing I would do is discuss the emotional connection to the subject, perhaps watch a film together as group and a build a sense of unity in relation to the project to create a deeper performance, which will please an audience and allow the spectator to gain a further emotional connection through the actors that truly feel something real.

We're nearly there, but are we?

Thursday was the first day where we ran the whole play, piecing all the scenes together.
It turned out to work OK, however I feel there is a lack of emotion that has been forgotten about. This may be down to the fact that we still have not really focused on any true emotions in relation to the characters in this play or to this hard hitting subject. We have mainly been focusing on the action rather than a deeper feeling. We discussed the line up of the play, seating arrangements for the audience and set design. The last week few days have been working towards finishing off the scenes, each day we have been working on warm ups, such as plastics, which on reflection I feel has been a little bit of wasted time in relation to this subject.
We worked on our torture scenes again, me being partnered with Liza on this one, we had to dismiss the chair we used and work away from using any large props, a rope is what we will use to add to this scene. We also rehearsed our individual dialogues where Rosie, Christina and myself are grouped together. This dialogue scene that we are performing will be at the the scene before the end scene. As we say our lines the others will be performing a death sequence, where they will perform their repetitive deaths. It will start off a silent and slow death and gradually grow faster and faster and more intense with the progression of moans and groans.
Soon myself and Christina will join this death sequence. During this rehearsal I took myself out of the scene and looked at what was being performed, through this I found myself slightly irritated as I felt this scene was not that great. I made this quite clear to Jon, and suggested to perhaps change this scene, suggesting that maybe we could be getting ready to go into the gas chambers, and someone saying "It's just a shower", I felt this would have created a greater tension, as in relation to this unfortunate time, the camp prisoners had no idea that they we're going to be gassed, the prisoners did actually think it was just a shower. I feel this would of created a deeper emotion, as now the audience know the truth of what really was going to happen. I feel this would be far more hard hitting to an audience rather than just recreating a death scene, which to be honest is very average and the easy way out for creating a scene. It just feels a little unthoughtful and surfaced to an audience. My point wasn't taken too well, and it seemed to unsettle Jon, as he took me out the room to say that I said this in bad timing. I think he feels a little uneasy as there is a lot of work to do, but my argument is, if we hadn't waisted so much time on learning a song that will now not even be in the show, and doing these plastic warm ups that have no purpose towards the subject, we might of had more time to create deeper emotional rooted scenes, that project this seriously intense subject.
On a lighter note it does seem that we will have a play to perform Monday at the Arts Depot. Everybody has learnt their stage directions, lines and individual scenes, I just feel a disheartened that the emotion is missing, and that the directors forgot all about this. It seems a little strange as I though that's what is the most important thing about art, to reach a deeper emotion in relation to a subject that is being presented.

Day 4- Further , devising small sequences ...

Today we started the morning with a warm up, this included working on forward and backward rolls, also practicing to hold each others weight with flow movement , another exercise was for everyone to lie on the floor - sardines as Jon would say, then for us to roll at the same time, on top would lie a person and we would roll, soon the person would have moved from one end to the next.. It was fun!

'Sardine Roll'

We also worked on Grotowskis plastics for a short time, focusing on our elbows. This is very challenging and needs lots of practice to master. After a break we worked on placing ourselves in a pile to represent a pile of bodies, this is a very strong image that is recognized in the holocaust camps.

Original photo of a pile of bodies in the Holocaust camps

As we worked on this I began to smell people which wasn't all that pleasant , however it gave me a better feeling of discomfort to add to my emotion , I could never compare it as to what actually happened in these camps as these bodies where rotting and naked in a way I would rather not describe.
Soon after we had to come to life after Being thrown on a pile, holding hands and working on rising in a tight group. In pairs We had to devise a sequence of how this would work and create a style of movement , a kind of dance ish sequence , imagining we were stuck behind walls trying to get out. I did this with Dominique and shakira.

A picture of Liza's group performing their short sequence.

Soon we had worked on how Cassy and James would drag us into a pile of bodies , for they are the guards in the play. After we adapted our small devised structures to rise and move together, trying to escape the walls.
After lunch we rehearsed the song, Shakira and myself have been given the task to arrange the song as to who will sing each part.
Later in pairs we devised a small torture scene. I did this with Liza , working from images that we sourced through the Internet it allowed us to grow our scenes into further tortured sketch. We included whipping with belts, using a chair to be tied up on, and moving towards the floor for a further tortured positions.

Below is Dominique, James and Cassey rehearsing their torture sketch.

We ended the session with performing each sketch to each other. Jon has instructed us to devise a thirty second repetitive death sequence , this will be performed whist Rosie, Christina and myself will be performing our scripted words.
We also to source plain white pyjamas for Lauren, our wardrobe/stage/ prop manager to create a stripy pyjama look costume.

Here are a couple of original photos of Holocaust victims in their clothes 'pyjama clothes'

Rehersals and growth in day 3 of professional drama practice.

We started the day with a morning active session, warming up and working on our usual yoga form positions. We also worked on our slow motion, finding emotion and meaning to our movements which still can be challenging on a Monday morning ;0)
However the session went well and towards the end of the session we practiced six potions that represent anguish, which had been previously worked on last week whilst Makeda, Shakira and myself were learning the Patriot song. Rosie taught us the six positions and after as a whole group we performed them and experimented with the flow of each position to the next. After a break we returned to the last session of scenes we had worked on and rehearsed, and slightly changed a few scenes. We discussed a few different idea's as to what else should be included during the work camp and guard scenes. I had remembered from a film I watched about the Holocaust, there was scene of camp victims running round in a circle naked so that the guards would see who was fit and who was not and would therefor be removed from the camp by a shotgun. Through this we decided to recreate a similar scene and placed ourselves in a circle running whilst James and Cassy who are now to be the official 'guards' in the play would shout and scream at us whilst running,I become a victim of near to death when I fall and James shoots me in the shoulder. Soon after an almost dream like slow motion occurs, all the camp victims gather strength to kill the guards - 'the uprising scene'.
After a lunch break we worked on the scripted text, we have now been split into 6 different groups, with each group portraying a different emotion, one group would almost be robotic another may be mad, another would be tortured... This represents different side effects to anguish and depression from a horrific event, in this case the Holocaust. My scene along with Rosie and Christina is as if we are in the electric chair, not wanting to speak but are made to by the electric shocks.
At first I found this difficult, but as we watched all the other groups act out their scenes it soon became clear of what my role is a about. I had the idea for my scene to be the three of us sitting in chairs with the electric helmets on there to be three electric chairs with each chair on a projector to give it a further visual effect, to compliment that with strobe lighting.
My research for character building work will be to find out about the electric chair, to Google on YouTube people in the electric chair, to study their reactions. Also to watch a film based on the Holocaust that will allow me to connect with a character on film, through emotional struggles and individual journeys.

Professional Drama Practice- A new project.

We have started a new project which will be lead and directed by an outside director called Jonathan Grieve - we call him Jon.

The Monday morning started with warm ups and icebreakers to get us in a creative space, soon after the session was led with discussions about varied social issues, and how important these social issues were, how relevant they are to us and what we thought of them, how we regard ourselves related to these social issues. For example, how important is music to you, on a scale from 1-10 10 being the highest, how religious are you? Are you an atheist or regard yourself as spiritual? Do you feel woman and men should be equal, or does each person have certain roles?
Through this exercise It was interesting to see how every person has different views on these social subjects and has individual personal views.
We also ran a series of still imaged frames, using the space, one person would have to pose in a certain way, whilst another would add to this pose to create a scenario. It was amusing of what might come out of nothing into something.
We also tried a few other specific scenarios, such as the recent riots, each person took on a character to create a freeze frame, shortly in slow motion we had to act out the next five seconds, then the freeze, then the next five seconds, then rewinding back ten seconds.
During these exercises it's important to be controlled with the slow motion so that the viewer gets the full effect. This can be challenging as an actor and therefore needs to practice to achieve this effect.
Later that day Michael and Jon handed out the stimulus script and text for the play that we will be performing on February 27Th. The idea is focused on The Holocaust and Jews that fought for Hitler. (Sounds controversial I know). The scripts consists of a series of scenarios, scripted text of a scene being placed in a court room with a judge , several witnesses and various other characters. There is also a poem by Samuel Beckett. Shortly after reading the script together, Jon taught us a song called Patriot which is a kind of chant, army song.
The next day, we warmed up with some games and some challenging yoga positions, following that we started practising our slow motion movements, using desperate emotions to reach a ball that was laid on the ground further away from us, the aim was to move towards this ball as if it were terribly important to us, to find meaning for our movements was the key aim in this exercise.
The next part of the session was mostly focused on creating the similar freeze framed and slow motion scenarios that we where introduced to us on the first day. This time these scenarios were based on the script, the scene was set to be at a work place of a Holocaust camp. We had to take on the characters of guards and work victims, soon we had to change the scenario by switching work camp victims in becoming aggressive and soon there was to be a revaluation, this was acted in slow motion, back and forward using the same movements to distinguish each part of the scene.
Later that day Shakira, Mackeda and myself had the task of learning the the full Patriot song and teaching it to the class, the song is a little challenging to learn for the timings are not of western rhythm nor flow. Before learning the song I led a vocal warm up which was fun!