Today was an interesting day... During our morning session with Nick we worked with some practical games. These games focus mostly on our raw emotions. We had to sit on a chair, close our eyes, and then state silently what emotion our characters are feeling within their scene. "I am heart broken"
Well Nina is heart broken in this scene I am playing, she is nervous of seeing the one she loves, however she is also heart broken over her best friend Kostya, she is broken that he loves her and she doesn't love him back.
She feels everything for him, she feels his pain as this is what she is going through too, and unfortunately she is in love with someone else.
Nick asked me whether I had been heart broken myself in my life, I replied I had.
I do believe that I can connect with Nina on a level; it’s just about channeling my emotions towards any pain I might have suffered in my own life.
After many rehearsals I do feel I am growing closer towards the character. I am learning how to control my emotions, how to go back, to go deep into any pain I have been through in my life.
It's difficult... It's hard to get deep sometimes, peel off the layers. The funny thing is, here I am trying to be an actress , it's really hard, emotionally draining infact, I mean thinking about really going back to something that hurt me, something that made me feel such pain, something that really brings me to tears, as Nina says... "It's a rough trade, life".
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